past SHOWS
Got invited to a New Years party that specifically said no more single men were allowed to RSVP, that's fine I'm not a man but seriously how many single men are going to this shindig? You'd think I'd be intrigued but I'm intimidated. Once you click RSVP you are whisked away to a form that requires your FB link, who invited you and finally why should they accept you- are you really that fun? More specifically: what makes you a playful addition to our party? What bitches? Fun? Me? I'm the fucking definition of fun- (but my answer was trite and I'm worried now they won't accept me) I suck dick! And lie, but I just mentioned the dick sucking. Oh' God I hope they pick me. God, all I want for Christmas is to be accepted by these insufferable fools. Please God. And duct tape, I really want duct tape, for my mouth. Thanks God. What?! Next year? He says next year. This is bullshit.
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Battered wives and liberated lesbians agree; I'm funny!
"Thanks to Emma Watson men can cry and being a feminist no longer makes me a cunt." Alyssa Westerlund
Alyssa Westerlund has lived in many different places and she's had many very lived-in men. Her first fiancé is in jail for murder and her last fiancé is currently a homeless drug-addled comedian. She allegedly likes danger and has made it her mission in life to emasculate men as an homage to her unrealistically capable father whose only hope was that she wouldn't need a jerk like him.
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She's a lady when she walks on stage but as soon as she opens her mouth you'll forget about all that. From the trauma of her first period to the disappointment of her last lay, Alyssa takes you there, so hold on and lighten up.
She takes on subjects too hot for Bill Hicks with the unforgiving brutality of Joan Rivers. Hecklers, hold your tongues: if you're not careful you might ask her to marry you. If comics still went to jail for obscenity, Alyssa would be in the holding tank with Lenny Bruce. She is, but if you're not comfortable with that, here's a list of adjectives: socially awkward, impulsive, disgusting, outrageous, obnoxious, infantile, unfiltered, unafraid, risque, self-involved, ego-maniacal. Clown, actor, comedian, “Alyssa's comedy will rip your guts out, tear your heart to pieces, grab you by the genitalia and not let go until you're in stitches.” |
Other Happenings:
Sally Tomatoes 4/15 Radio Ha Ha with Danny Dechi 4/17 Brainwash Cafe 4/23 & 4/26 Coopers 4/30 |
Group Therapy
Debbie Devoe
Marc Byrne
Alyssa Westerlund
3/16/14 @ 4:00pm
DOORS OPEN AT 3:30PM
Suggested donation $5
@La Peña Cultural Center
3105 Shattuck Ave.
Berkeley, California 94705
Debbie Devoe
Marc Byrne
Alyssa Westerlund
3/16/14 @ 4:00pm
DOORS OPEN AT 3:30PM
Suggested donation $5
@La Peña Cultural Center
3105 Shattuck Ave.
Berkeley, California 94705
Red
Red is a gut wrenching and introspective blend of song, monologue and spoken word. Red brings you into the world of a hyper active artist desperately seeking self.
Random performances
02.14.14 One Billion Rising, Nevada City, Reciting "Count My Blessings"
12.15.13 Comedy Showcase @ the Ivy Room hosted by Johan Miranda
11.07.13 Solo Performance Showcase @ the Osher Theatre presented by The Berkeley Rep
04.05.13 Amusement Extravaganza #4 @ the Stone House Brewery hosted by Th'Mole
10.12.12 No Offense: A Comedy Show @ the Curly Wolf hosted by Alyssa Westerlund
12.15.13 Comedy Showcase @ the Ivy Room hosted by Johan Miranda
11.07.13 Solo Performance Showcase @ the Osher Theatre presented by The Berkeley Rep
04.05.13 Amusement Extravaganza #4 @ the Stone House Brewery hosted by Th'Mole
10.12.12 No Offense: A Comedy Show @ the Curly Wolf hosted by Alyssa Westerlund
Troupe De Trash Nevada City, CA
No Pants Subway Ride NYC Upright Citizens Brigade NYC The Vagabond Cafe NYC Monologues and Madness @ the Cornelia Street Cafe NYC Caffe Vivaldi NYC Yuk Yuk's Edmonton, Canada NSJ Smackdown North San Juan, CA |
The Curly Wolf w/ the Best Friends Club, Nevada City, CA
Coopers Open Mic with Host J Earle Ford, Nevada City, CA Cafe Mekka Open Mic Host 6/12-9/12, Nevada City, CA The Starry Plough Berkeley, CA The Outdoor Comedy Club, Oakland, CA Massive Clowning SF with the TrashKan Marchink Band First Fridays Oakland, CA Saturday Write Fever @ EXIT THEATRE SF |