Alyssa Westerlund has lived in many different places and she's had many very lived-in men. Her first fiancé is in jail for murder and her last fiancé is currently a homeless drug-addled drummer. She allegedly likes danger and has made it her mission in life to emasculate men as an homage to her unrealistically capable father who's only hope was that she wouldn't need a jerk like him.
My friends beautiful, spunky daughter and I were looking through a picture book of sexualized girl faeries when she said, "I have a question, why do people paint pictures of naked women and not of naked men? Is it because all the artists are women?". My response felt inadequate but I told her, "The artists are men and women but it is less common to see naked paintings of men because less people are comfortable with the naked male form. The assumption being people prefer to look at naked women.". I was so proud of her question, I didn't go on a "it's a mans world rant" but it still has me scratching my head; how do you explain sexism to a young woman without creating victims or incidentally reaffirming the patriarchy? What One Woman Wants A primary mate (pri-mate) who's will me for me is my will for me, as my will for him is his (that last part I read in a book). I tell people I don't understand the concept of cheating and they assume I'm a polygamist looking for an open relationship. What I will "settle for"? A partner who would never deny me an experience to protect his ego. He is solid and he knows who he is. He has no desire to alter my being or course. Our reverence for sex and monogamy hurts people, kills relationships and destroys family's because we equate love with monogamy. Monogamy is possession, laying claims to ground that can't be owned but rather shared. If I share myself, whole or partial it is a gift unconditional and impermanent as life itself. There is no clause for this. What a wonderful world when my pri-mate tells me about a sexual experience he had without me and I can be happy for him. We are not our brothers or lovers keepers and we always have a choice to accept behavior or leave (if the wonderful sexual experiences were too often without me for example, I'd leave). Who ever coined the concept "cheating" was a mastermind and a mean one. Cheating is lying, the lying part I get, don't lie to people you claim to love, but cheating... The stories we tell... Do what feels good and find someone who won't chastise you for being an animal, more aptly, only human- as if either are pejoratives. "Americas' children are starving, by choice. And some folks say Michelle inspired this when she campaigned for children to make healthy choices. Over a million little voices rose up and asked, "How?" And when one 11 year old girl tweeted "I'd rather starve than eat pink slime #kidsunitehungerstrike" Twitter gave me a call. At first I thought, "It's trending, it's not a national crisis," but after 3 weeks, 3000 tons of pink slime left rotting on the docks, and my own daughters slowly wasting away, I was concerned. This wasn't like Guantanamo: we couldn't force feed them, we had to compromise. The children depend on us, the adults, to provide them with nutritious food and that's why I've decided to subsidize organic farms and give every child a gift card for Whole Foods." |
Alyssa WesterlundI love it when it rains. Archives
March 2016
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